Wish and If Only — Expressing Regret and Desire
Imagine you are stuck in a massive traffic jam on the Western Express Highway in Mumbai. You are late for a crucial interview at an MNC in Bandra, and as you look at the sea of red brake lights, you think, "I wish I had left home thirty minutes earlier." Or perhaps you are looking at your old Class 12 board exam marksheet and thinking, "If only I had focused more on Mathematics!" These moments of looking back at the past or wanting the present to be different are part of daily life. In English, we use specific grammar structures with wish and if only to express these feelings of regret, desire, or even mild annoyance.
When we use wish or if only to talk about things we want to be different (hypothetical desires or regrets), the tense of the following verb moves one step back in time (backshift).
- To wish for a change in the present, use the Past Simple.
- To express regret about the past, use the Past Perfect.
- To complain about behaviour, use Would.
Note: This backshift rule applies only to hypothetical/regret uses. Wish also has two other common uses that do not follow backshift: wish + to-infinitive (a formal equivalent of want: "I wish to speak with the manager.") and wish + indirect object + noun (for greetings: "I wish you a happy birthday.").
1. Wish + Past Simple: Changing the Present
We use this structure when we are unhappy about a current situation and want it to be different. Even though we use the Past Simple tense, we are actually talking about the present moment. It represents an "unreal" or "imaginary" present.
For example, if Arjun is 5 feet 6 inches tall but wants to play professional basketball, he might say, "I wish I were taller." He isn’t taller right now, but he imagines a reality where he is.
| Current Reality (Present Simple) | The Wish (Past Simple) |
|---|---|
| I don’t speak fluent English. | I wish I spoke fluent English. |
| Neha doesn’t have a car. | Neha wishes she had a car. |
| We live in a small apartment. | We wish we lived in a bigger house. |
| I am not at the beach right now. | I wish I were at the beach. |
In formal English and competitive exams (like UPSC or SSC), use were for all subjects (I, you, he, she, it, we, they) after wish. In casual conversation, "was" is common for I/he/she/it, but were is always safer for learners.
✏️ Quick Practice — Present Desires
Rewrite the following sentences using "I wish...":
- I don’t know how to cook Biryani.
- My office is very far from my home.
- I am not a millionaire.
Answers: 1. I wish I knew how to cook Biryani. | 2. I wish my office weren’t/wasn’t so far from my home. | 3. I wish I were/was a millionaire.
2. Wish + Past Perfect: Regretting the Past
This structure is used to express regret about things that happened (or didn’t happen) in the past. We use the Past Perfect (had + past participle) because we are looking back from the present to a completed past action. Think of it as a "Time Machine" rule—since the event is already over, we go even further back in grammar.
Think of Ravi, who didn’t study for his engineering entrance exams and is now unhappy with his college placement. He would say: "I wish I had studied harder."
| Past Event (Past Simple) | The Regret (Past Perfect) |
|---|---|
| I didn’t take the job offer. | I wish I had taken that job. |
| Priya said something rude to her boss. | She wishes she hadn’t said that. |
| It rained during the outdoor wedding. | I wish it hadn’t rained on my wedding day. |
| We forgot to book the train tickets early. | We wish we had booked the tickets early. |
3. Wish + Would: Complaining about Behaviour
We use wish + would when we want someone else to change their behaviour or when we want an annoying situation to stop. This is often used for complaints. It implies that the person has the power to change, but they aren’t doing it.
You cannot use "I wish I would." If you are wishing for a change in your own ability or situation, use "I wish I could" or "I wish I + Past Simple." Use would only for other people, the weather, or inanimate objects.
| Target of Complaint | Sentence |
|---|---|
| A noisy neighbour | I wish he would stop playing loud music. |
| The weather | I wish it would stop raining in Mumbai. |
| A friend | I wish you would listen to me! |
| A slow computer | I wish this laptop would start faster. |
Think of 'Would' as being about 'Will'. If you say "I wish he would help," you are basically saying "He is perfectly capable of helping, but he refuses to do it, and that’s annoying!"
4. If Only: Adding Emotional Weight
If only follows the exact same grammatical rules as wish, but it is much more emphatic. We use it when the regret is deeper or the desire is more dramatic. It often stands alone as an exclamation.
✅ Present: "If only I knew her phone number!" (More desperate than "I wish I knew...")
✅ Past: "If only we had arrived at the airport five minutes earlier!" (A very strong regret about a missed flight.)
✅ Complaint: "If only the government would fix these potholes!" (Stronger frustration.)
5. Hope vs. Wish: The Reality Check
This is where most Indian learners get confused.
- Hope is for things that are possible or likely to happen. We use the Present Simple or 'will' after hope.
- Wish is for things that are impossible, unlikely, or purely imaginary.
| Feature | Hope | Wish |
|---|---|---|
| Probability | Likely / Possible | Unlikely / Impossible |
| Tense Used | Present / Future (e.g., I hope it rains) | Past (e.g., I wish it rained) |
| Example | "I hope you pass your IELTS exam." (It’s possible!) | "I wish I could fly." (It’s impossible.) |
✏️ Quick Practice — Wish or Hope?
Choose the correct word for each sentence:
- I (wish/hope) it doesn’t rain during the Diwali fireworks tonight.
- I (wish/hope) I had ten arms so I could finish all this housework!
- Neha (wishes/hopes) she can visit her parents next month.
Answers: 1. hope (possible future) | 2. wish (impossible) | 3. hopes (possible future)
Common Mistakes by Indian Learners
Many Indian speakers translate directly from regional languages, leading to tense errors after wish.
| ❌ Incorrect | ✅ Correct | Why? |
|---|---|---|
| I wish I can speak English. | I wish I could speak English. | After wish, we backshift can to could for present desires. |
| I wish I would have gone to the party. | I wish I had gone to the party. | For past regrets, use Past Perfect (had + V3), not 'would have'. |
| I hope I was taller. | I wish I were taller. | Use wish for impossible physical changes; use were for unreal states. |
| I wish you will stop smoking. | I wish you would stop smoking. | Use would for complaints about someone’s habits. |
Summary
Using wish and if only correctly allows you to express complex emotions like regret, desire, and frustration with precision.
- Use Past Simple to change the present ("I wish I had more time").
- Use Past Perfect to regret the past ("I wish I had saved more money").
- Use Would to complain about others ("I wish the bus would come").
- Remember that If Only is just a more "dramatic" version of wish.
- Don’t confuse Hope (possible) with Wish (imaginary).
Key takeaway: Next time you feel a bit of regret about a choice you made, try phrasing it in your head: "I wish I had..." This practice will make the backshift rule second nature to you in no time!